Bomb Squad Diaper Duty

Well it’s been almost a month since I became a mother of two.  Sofia just turned two this week and Eli is three weeks old.  My time is so valuable these days that in order to blog, I either have to give up my afternoon nap (and lets be honest here, that is definitely not happening) or try to stay up past 9 pm and miss out on adult time, which is not a chaste way of saying “sexy time”, it’s pretty much using whatever energy I have left to make conversation with my husband and trying to stay awake.  So I’m using a rare night on my own to try to catch up, I’ve got an infant in my lap and I’m already fighting the urge to head to bed and catch a couple hours of guilt-free sleep.  

Having two kids is mostly what I expected, no real surprises there.  I’m tired all the time, feeling the crazy tug for attention between the two kids and the guilt that it brings and trying to keep my house from looking like a bomb hit it.  Some days are good and some not so much. 

What has been an adjustment is having a boy and dealing with a penis.  Girls and diaper changes are a cakewalk compared to this!  I was unprepared for the kind of power that a tiny penis can produce.  When you open that diaper, you never know if you’re going to get the fountain, the back end spray, the angry pee or all three.  I have to mentally prepare myself.  Visualize the steps I need to take, and in what order.  I have my tools (clean diaper and wipe) placed within reach.  It’s like there’s a ticking time bomb when I open it up…I grab the wipe and start my clean up, my eyes fearfully glancing back and forth to the “danger zone”, looking for signs that the pee is going to come.  Knowing the contact of the cool wipe on the skin could potentially set off the bomb of urine and begin an ugly chain of events that require a change of clothes afterwards for both of us.  I feel like the bomb squad technician cutting the wires…green wire or red?  I try to slide the new diaper on within seconds of my cleanup job. Either I’ve waited too long, or there was a cool breeze because usually the bomb goes off and I end up getting sprayed with pee, the clean diaper is now soaked and so are Eli’s clothes.  I went so far as to watch a few YouTube videos on how to change a boys diaper, thinking I was missing a step or something.  But it’s just practice…of which I am getting plenty of.

  And speaking of diaper duty…duty calls.  Keep your fingers crossed…

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