So Beautiful….

"Get in ma belly!"

“Get in ma belly!”

I’m embarrassed to say that it’s been far too long since I last posted anything on the site.  I’ve deprived you all of my wit for far too long.  Oh sure, I’d think about jotting down a few remarks and observances but then I’d roll over and nap for another half hour or head to the Cupboard of Shame for another handful of chips.

Truth be told, I’ve been busy.  Not only chasing after a very independent and feisty 18 month old, but dragging my sorry pregnant ass in the process.  Let’s pretend that I was SO excited about it, that I avoided blogging so I didn’t spill the beans before the innocuous 3 month secrecy rule.  Yeah, we’ll go with that.

Honestly, when I think back to the glory days of my first pregnancy, when everything was rainbows and butterflies…when being pregnant was “the most beautiful I’ve felt in a long time”…ugh, someone punch me in the throat stat.  Yah, that IS a direct quote.  And yes, it IS embarrassing.  Whether it’s because I’m busy with a toddler, or basically having a snowflake of a 2nd pregnancy (you know, everyone is different), I don’t know, but this one kicked my ass.  Oily hair, acne, corpse-like energy, nausea and an appetite like a hungry whale (how’s that for a visual?) to top off this “most beautiful time in my life”.  Pffft.

Besides all that, it was a pretty quiet summer.  Sofia did all the cute and precocious things that an 18 month old does, she developed all the skills and hit all the milestones that I’m assuming she’s supposed to hit.  Everything you’ve experienced yourself if you’re a parent.  And I wouldn’t expect you to gush over everything she did that I thought was adorable or amazing…which is pretty much everything…(with the exception of the pooping in the tub.  Not adorable or amazing.)

We did just return from our first big vacation though.  We hit a lot of firsts on this one.  First plane rides, first dose of Gravol, first time using the “sleeper hold”, first time in the ocean, you get the idea.  We went to Maui, the safest most family accessible place to go.  It was great.  She ended up being a pretty good little traveler.  I did my homework and read many blogs about how to travel with a toddler.  I had my little “goody bag” packed full of new toys and snacks for the plane rides and layovers.  I was determined NOT to have the kid that screams and kicks the seat in front so I was not above medicating my kid so that everyone around me didn’t hate us by the end of the flight.  And for the record, it didn’t work anyways…the Gravol had no effect at all.  But my “sleeper hold” did.  There were a few moments where I had to clutch her to me in a locked embrace (brought me back to my days when I had to learn restrictive body holds for a job I once had) to force her to sleep.  It took mere minutes before she passed out…not from a deprivation of oxygen, but from sheer exhaustion.  I wore my “mom badge” proudly as I sat there holding the dead weight of my 23 lb baby on my lap, trying to sleep myself.  It was exhausting.  It was a serious task keeping my acidic thoughts and snide remarks to myself as I looked beside me to my loving husband who was freely reading or listening to music or sleeping unencumbered by floppy toddler body.  I wasn’t my most beautiful self in those moments.

The ride home was worse.  Repeat all the steps above but let’s add a tap-dancing fetus, an always-full bladder and an inside seat to the equation.  Awesome.  However, it was a wonderful trip and I’d do it all again for another two weeks of beaches and hot-as-balls temperatures.

And now, back to life AND reality…pregnant whale and all!  Aloha!


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