I’m sorry but I must make an amendment to something in one of my previous posts. Here is what my comment was:
“Sleep is now my bitch.”
This is not true. I let my quick success go to my newbie parent head and grossly underestimated Sleep and her “dark dealings” with infants. It was all a cruel joke. Well seasoned parents, I can only imagine what you thought as you read my boast.
Kailey: “Sleep is now my bitch…”
Well Seasoned Parent: “HA! She thinks she won?! Oh Newbs…she has no idea what she’s in for…ha ha ha (sad ironic laugh). I give her 2 weeks.”
Where were you’re warnings a month ago!?! Actually, I can’t blame you…in another year or two when I’m part of the “Well Seasoned” club I’m sure I’ll snicker inwardly when I read or hear about Sleep’s joke on other newbs.
In fact, Sleep is actually a cruel cruel mistress. She loves you for a little while, gets your baby to go down for a full night at 7 or 8 pm. This is the ole’ bait and switch. You think…”Hey, I’m doing it…Look at me! This parenting thing is a breeze…getting my baby to sleep a full night already!” That’s when she has you. The next thing you know you’re wearing a ball gag and bending over, willing to do anything so she’ll love you again.
Yah, I had it wrong…so so wrong. Even as I’m writing this, I should be sleeping. Sofia’s FINALLY down for a nap that I worked SO friggen hard for…(after trying for an hour and a half, I broke down and cheated to get her to sleep) but can I sleep too? Oh no. My brain starts thinking of my next blog entry, the next phase of my world domination plan, my stomach starts growling and then the bastard setting sun is shining right through my closed blinds. My friggen body isn’t even on my side. GAH!
And now my little darling is awake…
(cue whiplash sound effect)